Anything as important as weak erections in older males will get attention – and for younger men, it seems that premature ejaculation is becoming an issue that’s just as important and pressing to many.
So, why is it the case a man’s inability to last longer during sex is receiving this level of research and investigation? The accelerated exchange of information in this computing era suggests that people who are conscious of their choices are no longer resigned to endure a sex life that is less than gratifying. The extensive information flow about sexual concerns that transpired in these past twenty years can be attributed to the easy availability of pornography on the internet and the steady decline of sexual inhibitions. This indicates that formerly taboo concepts such as premature ejaculation are now more commonplace, easier to deal with, and certainly easier for people to discuss. But despite these advances, just a few men try to get treatment.
The current crop of clinical findings has shown consistently that many men aren’t prepared to find any effective premature ejaculation treatment. For men it is apparently a self-esteem issue. Women actually view it as a jolting cessation of rhythm and connection at the most important juncture of lovemaking. It’s not so much about the fact that a woman can’t reach climax through conventional sex, because this is relatively uncommon in any case, but because lovemaking doesn’t last as long as it otherwise might. The closeness between them is suddenly severed prior to a woman gaining a firm hold of true connection with her partner.
Incredibly, effective remedies to this dysfunction were already proposed more than half a century ago when pioneers like Masters and Johnson wrote about sexual psychotherapy and other approaches. And these clinical interventions – commonly known as a “stop-start” technique and the “squeeze” technique – are very effective. The reason they aren’t as popularly accepted (and used) as might be expected is because couples don’t have the persistence to keep on using these methods. In part, this is because the male finds it more convenient to just let go and give in to the impulse to climax at that stage. He habitually does this at the point where ejaculation is no longer stoppable during intercourse.
And all men know how forceful and compelling the impulse to ejaculate is during sexual intercourse. It’s hard-coded in our genes by thousands of years of human evolution. The female needs to get pregnant for the species to survive, so the impulse to release is a naturally instinctive reaction. But, like many basic instincts, men can muzzle it – by firmly deciding to acquire control of their own orgasm. In short, the desire to ejaculate can be overcome, put aside, and subjugated for the longer term benefits of achieving stronger self-control during intercourse.
Preventing premature ejaculation is a rewarding way to achieve a higher level of male self-respect, self-esteem, and sexual self-control. But what is normal? Anything that’s as basic (as sex is) to human relationships is, by definition, always influenced by cultural and social norms. So, while the most recent studies have concluded that the mean length of conventional copulation is approximately seven minutes, the time deemed as normal for sexual intercourse in other cultures is entirely different.
One questionable method is that the time starting from the initial penetration up to the moment of ejaculation is usually measured by using a common stop watch. This seems ludicrous, during one of the most intimate interactions that a man and woman can have! So what level of reliability are we supposed to accept on measurements taken on a stop watch by the female partner while the man makes love to her, unless she’s completely unaffected by what he’s doing? And if the woman is indeed indifferent to to be able to operate a stop watch accurately, doesn’t that show that the male may not be really bothered about delaying his ejaculation?
Assuming that an experimental procedure such as this will produce any amount of reasonable data appears to be ludicrously optimistic. And even if we did agree to 7 minutes as the average duration for sex (and seven minutes is in fact longer than many clinical tests have demonstrated as an average length of time of intercourse), then how do we interpret the fact that in certain Arabic cultures fast ejaculation is singularly taken as a signature of sexual prowess? This indicates that the known occurrence of premature ejaculation in these Arab countries is, by definition, much lower than in, for example, Latin America, where both men and women consider drawn-out sexual intercourse as a sign of male strength.
One expert who has gone through mountains of data studying premature ejaculation is Dr. Marcel Waldinger, a neuropsychiatrist in the Netherlands, who also operates a sexual health clinic. He wrote that the actual number of males in the general population who are actually suffering from premature ejaculation is much lesser than findings from studies bankrolled by big pharmaceutical corporations might lead us to believe. His technique is to record the exact time between penetration and ejaculation. He maintains that this is the sole unbiased indicator of whether a male suffers from premature ejaculation or not.
So he excludes other factors like issues of sexual satisfaction and the men’s subjective judgments about their own faculty of self-control. However, many people would regard those things as indispensably fundamental to defining premature ejaculation. As a matter of fact, premature ejaculation has traditionally been defined in a manner that demonstrates either the man or the woman to be feeling emotional frustration directly attributable to the male’s rapid sexual responses. The reasoning here is that even if actual intercourse between a man and a woman only lasts 30 seconds but both are satisfied and contented with this, then the male partner, based on the classical definition, has really no issues with premature ejaculation .
Is this important? Yes, I think it does matter, for some very compelling reasons. Number one, it’s actually interesting and useful for men to have a a set of standards against which to judge themselves as lovers. The absence of such information can often result in low self-esteem and confusion when a man has no reasonable estimate how he performs sexually in relation to other men. Unless his friends are being honest about their sexual performance and talking about it openly, he won’t know whether two minutes, 5 minutes or 10 minutes of full control is adequate. And even if he does manage to make love for ten minutes but the woman doesn’t achieve her own climax, he will still have no idea if he’s achieving a satisfactory sexual performance or not.